by Zoé Mahfouz

Do you wish you could molest and kill women? Torture animals? Torment babies? Express your cannibalistic urges? Do you have troubles with mental institutions calling you back in? Well, you’ve come to the right place!

Discover Contemporary Art, where the nobodies can become somebody with a bunch of baloney!

You no longer need talent like Monet and paint your garden 30 times to be displayed in museums! You can now put your own dump in a can and sell it in an art auction in Milan for 300,000 dollars! 

But above all, you’ll finally have an excuse for all your sadistic impulses! 

Stopping your vehicle on the highway to take pictures of car accidents?

Blame it on the art!

Staging a hundred ways to torture babies like throwing them in the air, putting them in cages, ovens and choking them?

Blame it on the art!

Burning people’s bodies on purpose? 

Blame it on the art!

Vitriolizing photos of women icons you know you could never get in your bed? 

Blame it on the art!

Have you ever felt like cutting dead animals in half and putting them in containers filled with formaldehyde, inspired by the careers of many serial killers? Have you ever considered benefiting from a genocide by stealing ashes from Holocaust victims and turning them into a painting? Or making meatballs out of your own liposuction fat and eating them in public in a gallery? Well, you’ve knocked on the right door! With Contemporary Art, your perversions are fairly rewarded! Who cares about the antipsychotics and the mood stabilizers, when you can sell a crucifix statue immersed in your own urine at a Sotheby’s auction in London for 145,000 dollars?  

And if someone asks you the meaning behind your work, do not forget to use our usual catchphrase : “It’s the reflection of a dysfunctional society”!

Contemporary Art, turn your depravity into an ATM!

XXX

Writer’s bio : 
Writer who randomly bursts into improvised musical numbers when she is alone at home, then pretends to be emotional when the imaginary audience gives her a standing ovation. Also likes to kidnap the neighbor’s cat to make TikTok’s and complains when he throws up on her terrace. 

Zoé Mahfouz
TikTok @Lessautesdhumeurdezoe